365

LAST DAY. Weird.

I moved over here.

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What a weird day.

I dumped a full cup of water all over my desk at work, and then no more than an hour later did it with a full cup of tea. At that point I almost started crying. Because I am a giant sissy some days, and today has been one of them.

My iPod battery died two blocks from my apartment, but it was actually perfect timing because a song had just started that I really didn't need to be listening to. So, thank you iPod.

I came home from work, ate the first substantial amount of food that I've had in probably two weeks, and then fell way way way asleep for a good two hours. I just woke up a little bit ago and I think I'm just going to go back to bed. Apparently I need the sleep.

Tomorrow is the last day. That is completely bizarre to me.

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MAKE THESE RIGHT NOW.

Marionberry Lavender Scones from The PPK

Marionberry Lavender Scones

Makes 12 scones

1 1/4 cups almond milk (or your non-dairy milk of choice)

2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar

3 cups flour

2 tablespoons baking powder

1/2 cup sugar, plus extra for sprinkling

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup fresh culinary lavender, chopped

1/2 cup non hydrogenated shortening

2 tablespoons canola oil

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

2 cups marionberries, or berries of your choice
Preheat the oven to 375 F. Lightly grease a baking sheet or line with parchment paper. Measure out the milk and add the vinegar to it. Set aside to curdle.

Mix together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar in a large mixing bowl. Add the shortening in small clumps, then use your fingers to cut it into the flour until it appears like small pebbles. (You an also use a food processor for this, but I prefer to use my hands.) Mix in the lavender.

Create a well in the center and add the soy milk, oil and vanilla. Mix with a wooden spoon just a bit, then add in the berries. Mix again until everything is moistened, but don’t overmix. A couple of dry looking spots are just fine.

Use a 1/4 cup measuring up to scoop the scones out on to the baking sheet. Spray it wth cooking spray first so that the batter comes out easier.

Sprinkle tops with a bit more sugar, then bake for 18 to 22 minutes, until tops are firm to the touch and lightly browned. Serve warm!


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I used 1 tablespoon of dried culinary lavender instead of fresh, and subbed frozen blackberries for the marionberries.

Holy crap.

362

OH GREAT.

This morning I was standing butt ass naked in my shower towel drying my hair, when my neck randomly makes this weird popping noise, and then suddenly SHOOTING PAIN up the right side of my neck. Fan-fucking-tastic. I couldn't turn my head to the right at all and went to work with my head at a weird tilt. Fun fun.

I ended up going to a chiropractor during my lunch break, who I am now madly in love with. She sat down and talked with me for a solid half an hour about all of the stress sources in my life, and then did a gentle chiropractic session where she didn't use any pressure or poke me at all. It was all just a series of different touches with different pressure. SO amazing. I'm still pretty tense and can't turn my head all the way yet, but I should be golden within the next few days. She's so awesome that she even has a blog.

We also figured out that my couch is evil, and now I want to get rid of it. So hey- anyone want to buy an evil couch? It's in great condition!

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Longest day everrrrrrrrrrr.

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I just realized that I only have five days left with this blog. And part of me feels like I should have some big entry to post. Some sort of conclusion or epic end to it. But no, there won't be. It will most likely be just like any other day. I'll say too much or I'll say not much of anything or I'll post a picture I did or didn't take. This was never intended to really be that big of a deal. More people read it than I ever expected to. So, in five days it will be done and I'll move on to something else.

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I have been in the most off-kilter mood all month. I can't shake the fact that I just feel down. I spent all night with two of my bests. Laughing my ass off. Drinking orange juice at the bar and piling into bed and watching Candid Camera on dvd. On my ride home I got yelled at by some douchebag in an SUV and didn't really care because at least when I'm pushing myself hard I still feel fine. It's coming home and climbing into bed that kills me every time. Matt has been gone for over three weeks and he'll be home in two days, but it won't feel any different until I leave work on Monday. And I know that no one gives a shit if I miss my boyfriend, but it has changed a lot of things for me.

One more night.

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This weekend is going to be insanely busy but I feel like it's going to move in slow motion. I felt like I couldn't handle being around anyone tonight. I came home at 10:30 and I'm in bed already.

This picture is killing me.

358

OH MY GOD.

I am never buying anything on Craigslist again.

I bought my couch from this guy over two months ago. He wanted $125 for it but I only had $60 on me at the time. He said it was fine and I could give him the rest later. Whatevs. So I pick the couch up, give him $60 and he says it's all cool. I assume that by "it's all cool" he means IT'S ALL COOL.

A MONTH AND A HALF LATER he starts texting me asking me about his money. I just ignore him until he starts threatening to come to my work. Wtf??? I tell him I'm in Alaska and I'll deal with it when I get back.

FFWD to today and he's texting me again. I write him back and tell him that as I recall, we agreed that $60 was fine and if it wasn't fine then he never should have let me leave with the couch. More freaking out on his part. He sends me the most epic text messages ever. He wants to come get the couch. Finally I tell him that I don't care and I'll mail him a check on the 15th when I get paid. NOPE. He wants to come to my office and get it. The shitty part is that he knows where my office is because I'm a dumbass and e-mailed him from my work address originally and my signature has our company info in it.

I told him that wasn't okay and he finally stopped texting me without a reply. Now I'm afraid he's just going to show up at my office one day and throw a fit. FANTASTIC.

I need to hire a bodyguard. Maybe LiLo will share hers with me. Sigh...

357

Dear Seattle Weather:

You suck. Quit ruining my life.



Love,

Renai



PS-

Buy me these, k?

356

I have new favorite things today. I'm finally riding again, despite the absolute shit weather that we've been having. I'd rather get soaked and muddy than not ride at all. It makes me go crazyyyyyyy.

Annnnyyyywayyyyyyys...


My mom sent me a pair of Swrve WWR knickers for my birfday (which is today, BTW) which are absolutely amazing. They're wind and water resistant and make my butt look kind of hot. (Really hot, actually). Highly recommend these. I got their "hiding hoodie" as well, but am exchanging it for a different color so I haven't tried it yet. Kind of excited about my butt crack not showing anymore though.



I also just upgraded my lights to Knog Gekkos instead of Frogs. So far I love them and people seem to be trying a little less hard to scare me and/or run me off the road. Although that may just be due to my new hot butt. Either way I'm happy I got them. (Top secret- you can get a set of them- front and rear- for $35 on eBay which is super cheap. Like me.)

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Other than that... my birthday has been pretty mellow, and was made very wonderful by the most fantastic women at feminist book club tonight. I would marry them all if I weren't so in love with that damn boyfriend of mine.

AND the biggest birthday surprise of all is that my dad actually remembered and called me this year. It made me really really happy. Silly. I can't help it.

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Blah blah blahlkfhlahfdlha. Bedtime.

355

I just realized that I never posted pictures from my trip home. So, here you go, sucka. People never seem to really understand when I tell them that Juneau is surrounded by mountains and water. Yeah... not joking. These first pictures are along the highway/of the island that I grew up on. Everything is literally built into the sides of mountains and along the waterfront. You can't escape.






This is probably the best outfit I've ever worn. Ever. It made me want to start a fashion blog. And yes I did wear this out. And yes I did get hit on all night by extremely attractive Alaskan men. Ahem.



Seriously though. Don't pet the sea lions.




Drunk beezies. 3 AM downtown.




Brother hailing a cab.




Everyone in Alaska is ridiculously attractive and well dressed. Haha, I love them.




Taken on my last day. Mom made us get out of the car and take pictures here. It was about .2 degrees and blowing. Thanks Mom.

354

I am seriously starting to get cabin fever.

I was working on making hip bags earlier but kept destroying my hands so I said fuck it and then was going to go run errands just so I could get out of the apartment. I rode about halfway from my apartment to Stone Way (not even a mile) before it started shitting on me. Rain/slush/wind/snow/bullshit all over the place. I wussed out and came back home and now I'm just going NUTS. I missed daylight too so I can't even take decent pictures of the stuff I've been working on, which means that I can't post it on Etsy yet either, which has now rendered my entire day useless. I can't even cook anything because I haven't gone grocery shopping in two weeks and I'm not about to leave the house again.

DAMN I am so whiney lately. How adorable.

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Another one of these. But they really are the best. I love these nights more than anything.

352

This was my brothers Christmas present this year. Larger sized hip pouch that is probably one of my favorite things I've made. I actually really want one now.





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I just realized that it's Friday and now I'm all thrown off. As much as I like having all of this time off I'm really ready for my work schedule to go back to normal.

Birthday party for moi tomorrow. I never "feel" like it's my birthday. It isn't actually until Tuesday, but whatev.

351

2009.

I'm home way early and I'm okay with that. I got really sad when I came home super dressed up and didn't have my love here with me. Blahhhhhhhhhhh. I hate holidays alone. Especially when I know that I have someone who I want to be with so badly halfway across the stupid world.

Oh well. I had my ladies.



And I'll bet you've never seen me dressed like that. NM the beer and the fact that my dress was falling down all night. Not my fault I lost 5 pounds when I had the fucking flu. Only bitter 'cause of bitches...



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So, cool. Don't let me update my blog when I'm drunk. I'm a bitch.

Anyway. Here are more pictures from last night:










Laila loves me right now!

350

NYE. Another day that's bad for blogging. Sigh.

I've been craving grocery store deli mac and cheese all day. I don't think that there's a vegan alternative to that.

349

I actually sucked it up and went to work today. I ate an entire giant bowl of soup and some crackers. What an accomplishment. Phew.

I just got home and I'm already back in bed. Of course. I'm prob just going to watch Rome on DVD and lurk blogs all night. Lazy bones. Whatev, I'm allowed.

I have a weird unhealthy obsession with this girls style. Creeeeeeeper status. I actually dressed like this first outfit today because I own the same shirt. Thanks $5 Old Navy shirt.

248

Called in to work and spent half the day in Matao's bed, then took a cab home and spent the rest in mine. Not really much to say about it. Carmen came over and brought me soup, juice, and cold medicine because she is a doll.

Slept forever. Blah blah blah.

347

Last day in Alaska.

Mom picked up me and Brother and went on a forever drive out the road. She made us stand in the freezing ass cold/wind/snow on a beach to get pictures that didn't turn out very well because our hair was everywhere and our faces were scrunched into our jackets so we had like 10 chins each. HOT.

Stopped in at the waffle place and tried to get soup but failed. Sat around and talked shit for a while. Drove back to Douglas to see grandparents/aunts one more time. Hung out there for a while, ate a ton of salmon (pickled, smoked, and lox omg), Grandma gave me some really old sewing books and kept trying to feed me cookies. Left and met up at Island Pub with Steff/Kyle/Tom/Kimbert. Ate cheese-less pizza with too much garlic. Called to double check my flight and the recording said it was canceled out of Juneau, so we went out to the airport to check.

Turns out it was just delayed three hours so I sat around in the lounge with Mom and Brother. My stomach started to bother me at this point and I figured it had something to do with the jarred salmon. OMG BOTCHULISM! Finally went through security and boarded. My stomach was getting worse and worse as we were taking off. I went to the bathroom to pee and ended up puking up everything I'd eaten that day. The rest of my flight pretty much involved me moving to my own row in the back of the plane, having the flight attendants give me a huge bottle of water so I had something in my stomach, puking into a barf bag while waiting for the bathroom, and throwing up a total of 6 times, once while in the process of getting off the plane. HELL.

I took a cab to Matao's where Phillip being the darling that he is made me soup that I couldn't manage to eat. I passed out in Matao's bed with a bucket nearby, 'cause shit you never know, right? Classy stuff.

346

Breakfast at Sandpiper, which was really impressive considering that they had an entire two vegan dishes. Although their french toast came with butter, and their tofu scramble came with sour cream- but whatev, at least they kind of got it.

Ran around with Mom and Amy. Procured an ice cream maker, which made me almost as happy as the Cuisinart food processor that I got for Christmas. So spoiled.

Went back to my dads and took a three hour nap. Tom kidnapped me then we went to Marlentinis for What Remains' last show as What Remains. More awkwardness. Back downtown to Pel Meni. Met a girl from LJ/MySpace who lives up north. Random. Back to bars with Amy and Tom. Didn't drink, but babysat instead. Somehow ended up sober dancing, which never happens... but whatev. No one else can tell when they're drunk. Pel Meni reunion. I never feel like I get to talk to Ryan enough.

Amy took me home and I stayed up reading until 4 for some reason.

345

I took Tom to breakfast/lunch and bought him food for letting me take over his futon. He dropped me off back at my dads where he gave me looks of disapproval and probably thought to himself how much of a skank I am. Nevermind the fact that I've been friends with Tom since I was 15. NEVERMIND THAT. Thanks, Dad.

Took a nap, took a shower, ate pasta at my moms that had cheese in it and almost killed me later in the night. Went and saw Marley and Me with Mom, Brother, and Aunt Becky. Balled my fucking eyes out starting about halfway through the movie. I am such a sissy sometimes. Went downtown and back to The Alaskan. Met up with Tom/Morgan/Steffani/Amy other people who I am forgetting and am an asshole for. Had a really awkward encounter. Went to the Rendezvous- danced, bonded, left for The Imperial. Kept dancing with people I'd known since I was in pre-school. VERY WEIRD. Got totally weirded out about bar close being 3 am but didn't really care. Went to Pel Meni and got really depressed about Costas/Cone Kitchen closing.

Caught a cab with a bunch of people, went to Libby's and slept on the floor.

344

Christmas day.

It was actually really nice being home this year. The holiday itself has about zero significance to me, but I really miss being with my family, so it counts for a lot.

Made a bunch of vegan food for brunch at my grandparents. Everyone was afraid of the tofu scramble. My two youngest cousins are hilarious and actually made me love little kids. Just a tiny bit. We stayed at my grandparents through dinner where almost everything actually was vegan, minus the roast- but I was really happy that I actually got to eat with everyone else for once. Mom made wild rice/cranberry/walnut stuffed squash and I think I could probably eat that until I die. Nom nom nom.

Left after dinner and met up with my dads side of the family. Did a while elephant gift exchange where I ended up with a popcorn popper and a headlamp. Is it weird that I was really excited about both of these? Whatev.

Brother and I made a break for it and went to The Alaskan to meet up with my lover Raineka- who is the other half of Renaineka. I haven't seen her in YEARS. Tom told me about his secret affair with my mom (scandal), I drank more than I have in forever (uh yeah 3 whole beers), left with Rain, David, and Tom, and then proceeded to fall asleep on Tom's futon for the night. He slept on the floor. I am an asshole. Oops.

343

I'M BACK.

Christmas Eve... spent the night before in the airport with Shawna. It was miserable and I barely slept. Mom picked me up, and I went to my grandparents and baked cookies for 4 hours or something ridiculous. She finally took me to my dad's where I was staying and after a really awkward dinner I fell asleep at 7:30 and slept for a solid 12 hours. Fun day.

342

I stayed at Matao's last night since he's stuck here until tomorrow and he lives closer to my office. I walked to work down the middle of Denny. There were beer cans and cardboard boxes in piles everywhere.



I'm leaving tomorrow (maybe) and won't be back until late Sunday night so don't expect much until then.

341

Another day home from work. I was up at 5:30 trying to figure out how to get to work, and gave up around 10. I got a ton of crap done, but I can't show you anything because it's mostly gifts for people. Tough shit.

340

Everyone is stuck everywhere.

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We just took a walk around Greenlake and took a few pictures. My camera does weird things in the snow. It was dark out for all of these.

339

We are apparently in the process of being snowed in.



I'm home with Allison making cookies and watching Flight of the Conchords. I'm also apparently trying to chop my fingers off. Fail.

Matao leaves tomorrow to Australia for a month and I'm kind of sort of freaking out a little bit. Such a girl. Love is weird because you can't really help it.

338

I'm back at work... although it was tricky. I came in this morning with dirty hair, no makeup, and the same clothes I wore on my date with Matao two nights ago. Sexayyyyy.

I am getting nothing done. I kind of don't really mind.

I just looked through the Macaframa screening pictures and made myself really sad. I'm all about hibernating, but oh my god I miss my bike and I miss my friends. I need to quit being a sissy and start riding again. Snow and ice can suck it.

337

Oh Seattle, you so silly.

I had today off from work 'cause it snowed like... two inches. I love it. We'll see about tomorrow since it's not really supposed to get any better.

Spent all day today watching bad tv, eating cookies, sleeping, and being a lazy jerk. Perfection.

336

NUFFIN

335

My best form of self defense lately seems to be getting pissed off.

If you hurt me I'll punch you in the face.

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Do you ever just feel like going "fuck this, everything sucks" even when everything doesn't actually suck and really you're just in the mood to be a cranky ass? Yeah that's me half the time but for some reason today it's really sticking. I'm actually secretly in a really good mood but outwardly I'm being a giant b. Nothing new I guess.

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I'm going home in a week and it's kind of tripping me out. I mean I was home back in September too, but that was kind of different because I was there with the boy and I got to play tour guide and have him around 24/7 so we could pick on each other all the time which keeps me sane somehow. I haven't been home for Christmas in a few years, same for the summer so I'm never really there when anyone else is. I keep having weird dreams about people who used to be a bigger part of my life and now I'm getting all tripped out over seeing them. I also had a dream about ladybugs a few weeks ago and now I keep actually seeing them but I'm pretty sure that's unrelated. But still- seeing ladybugs all the time in December is kind of weird. You gotta give me that.

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Man, I just don't know right now. I'm all over the place.